The Boy I Left Behind

This may be a difficult segment to write, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, especially those who love me, but it is a part of my life that should be included because it meant something to me--to all who were involved.  I have mulled it over and over in my head as to how I should write it, who might read it, who might be hurt by it, but it's for my children and they both know of his family because they have been a part of that family too through visits, cards and letters throughout the years.  My son may not remember because he was very young when we used to visit.  I know it sounds strange, but this family meant so much to me.  His sister was, to coin a modern-day phrase, one of my BFF's in high school, although a year behind me.  She and I had actually dated the same guy at different times, of course.  I sang at her wedding--that's how close we were.  Their parents have both passed away--his mother only last year and his father several years ago.  And, sadly, his sister, my BFF, died from breast cancer a few months before their mother passed away.

His family built a new home in Muldrow and moved in the spring of 1958, I believe.  He was already out of school, and there were two younger sisters still at home.  Our teenage class Sunday School teacher took several of us to meet the new family in town to invite them to church, found out the girls would be attending our school and we became good friends.  Then I discoverd something even better--the girls had an older brother already out of school.  I've always told my children I never liked to date the boys from my senior class because they were so immature.  Truth is, I think I was too shy to try and get a date, so I dated boys from Sallisaw and that one from Fort Smith--remember the one that my Grandfather threw out of the house that day?  If you don't remember, you'll have to go back to the story about my Grandpa. 

Anyway, she got me a date with her gorgeous, 6'1", blond-haired, blue-eyed older brother.  I say that because he was gorgeous to me.  These days you kids would say he was "hot", but we didn't use terminology like that in those days.  Being hot back then was because we didn't have air-conditioning!
I think we probably only went out about three times.  I graduated, moved to Tulsa, started business school, he joined the army and got shipped off to Alaska.  Now you're getting the drift.  He sends me a Christmas card with his picture on it and my Grandma sends it to me in Tulsa, with the address and everything.  I started writing, he started writing back and we fell in love.  I was out of business school by that time and was living in a garage apartment with a girl I worked with.  He had a furlough in 1961 and wanted to come to Tulsa to see me. 

He flew home, visited his family for a while and headed straight to Tulsa where I was working on 9th & Boston, at the Sinclair Oil Company.  He picked me up outside the building and we drove straight to my Aunt's house in Turley.  She insisted we come there--I can't imagine why, but we just wanted to get reaquainted so we  headed to Muldrow the very next day after breakfast.  Boy--was his mother surprised!  She knew I was friends with his sisters but had no idea I had ever dated her son.  Here we are seriously talking about becoming engaged and she's going on like, "Law--I never even knew you guys had dated, didn't know you were writing, etc."  It was really kind of funny and a little embarassing.  I loved his folks, they always treated me like one of their own.  I spent many nights in their home even while he was home on leave, sleeping with the younger sister in her bed.  Those were the good ole' days, kids. 

We were together constantly while he was home those two weeks, and he asked me to marry him, so we went to Fort Smith and bought an engagement ring, a beautiful single solitare diamond.  I think his mother's head had quit spinning by then! 

I went back to Tulsa with an engagement ring on my finger, he went back to Alaska and we continued writing.  My boss at work wasn't too happy about my engagement and gave me some flack--kept saying I shouldn't get married, and others said I wasn't ready to settle down--I don't know, it seemed like eveyone filled my head with these negative thoughts--even from one of my best friends back home.

Truth is, I didn't listen to my heart--I didn't follow my heart and when he came home the next time and we still hadn't made plans for the wedding, I think I just wasn't ready to be a married lady.  I got scared, and I backed out, told him some ridiculous story about not being in love any more.  We've remained friends, and as I said before, I loved his family very much and still do although they are gone now, but never forgotten.  I attended his parents' 50th Wedding Anniversary celebration several years ago, and the kids and I would drop by from time-to-time and spend the night and send cards, pictures, write letters throughout the years.  They meant a lot to me and I believe I meant a lot to them too.

We both married someone else--guess you are glad about that kids, or you might not be here.  Isn't it funny how decisions we make change everything?  Oh, I believe I would still have had a Tiffany and  a Mark, but have you ever thought how different it would be?   Kind of scarey isn't it thinking you might not have been born.  But remember, God had a plan, and he is never quite through with His plan for our lives. 
Mom (posted at 10:00 on July 1, 2011) Because I love you.

Tiffany and Paul 2010

Mark and Family 2011