Gary, Our Own Dennis the Menace

This is a story about my little brother, Gary Gene Riddle, born on November 4, 1951, the third child born to Mildred and Elmo Riddle.  Gary was a beautiful baby and as a toddler, his hair turned the most beautiful shade of auburn I have ever seen and of course, he had the freckles to go along with the red hair.  He was definitely the personification of a true "Dennis the Menace" too.  I remember my sister, Kathy, asking Mom once if perhaps they had brought the wrong child home from the hospital--could the nurses have gotten them mixed up somehow?  You see, he was a little different from the other two children, Kathy and Eddie.

Gary loved to play Cowboys and Indians with his older brother, Eddie, when Kathy wasn't trying to dress the boys as little girls and have tea parties.  She got away with it when he was two or three, but as he became older, I am sure he wouldn't have any part of putting on that dress and wig.  

This is a picture of Gary and their dog, Jill.  It looks like Jill might be getting ready for a bath in that tin tub. Another picture I found of Gary just being cute and "innocent".  Eddie said Gary did get his share of spankings but spankings didn't have much of an affect on him anyway!

I don't know much about his young school years but I can only imagine he never sat still in class and was always in trouble, but you have to admit his school pictures were very cute and he finally did grow into those big ears!

Gary didn't finish high school and was drafted into the Army in 1970 and sent to Vietnam.  He worked on helicopter maintenance and was a gunner on the helicopter.

The Vietnam war changed this beautiful auburn-haired boy.  He went to Vietnam as one person and came home another, as so many of our young men did. 

Gary's health deteroriated over the next few years after he came back in 1974.  He was a heavy smoker and continued to drink, but I believe the result of his bad health was Agent Orange used by the U.S. military as part of its herbicidal warfare program during the Vietnam war that damaged his lungs and caused prolonged deteroriation to his body.

  

Gary married Mary Canada after he returned home and they had two daughters.  However, he and Mary divorced after 10 years and he had very little contact with his daughters after that.  Gary became a bit of recluse and drank more heavily but lived with Mom for a time.  Gary was able to buy some land out in the woods, and built a little one-room house to live in until he passed away on October 4, 2001, one month before his 51st birthday.  

He finally began receiving his disability benefits two years before he died. 

Our youngest brother, Ricky John, officiated Gary's military service on a very cold and rainy day in October 2001.  His older daughter, Mary, was given the American Flag that draped his casket. Our Mom preceded him in death only two years before, but before she died she helped buy a small plot of land for him on which he built that little one-room house. 

I still miss my beautiful auburn-haired, blue-eyed little brother and think about him a lot. He would call me from time-to-time just to check in and let us know he was okay.  I miss the country "twang" in his voice and the fact that he corrected me one time when I was talking about guitar strings.  He told me them ain't "strings", they're "strangs".   Oh well, he knew better than I when it came to "strangs" and "thangs"!  Gary was pure country but he served his Country well!

Gary, Mary,Heather & Little Mary

Mildred Bernice McKinney Riddle, My Mom



Pin Up Girl 1956



Mildred Bernice McKinney Riddle was my beautiful Stepmother, but I called her "Mom" after I was grown.  My Grandmother didn't allow me to call her Mom or Mommy when I was small--I don't remember what I called her--I probably didn't call her anything.  My birth mother, Opal Nadine Martin Riddle, died in January of 1942, shortly after I was born--she was only 18.  My father, Elmo John Riddle, married Mildred McKinney on November 22, 1944.  She was born on January 29, 1926, so she was around 18 when they wed.  She was born and raised around Greenwood, Arkansas.  She was a very pretty girl with beautiful long strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes.  Quite a beauty!  I don't know anything about how they met or how they dated, but I know they loved each other very much, and had many good years together.  Mildred was always very slim and kept her youthful figure even until she passed away at the age of 76 on July 5, 1999, after a year-long battle with lung cancer.

Together they raised four children:  Kathyrn Bernice born on November 7, 1945; Eddie Elmo on December 1, 1947; Gary Gene on November 5, 1951, and Ricky John on November 30, 1955.  They lost two babies immediately after birth--Larry Dean on September 15, 1953, and a little girl, Brenda Gail on January 19, 1960.

Mildred was a loving and kind mother.  I adored her when I was child and was always hanging onto her when they came to visit, which vexed my grandmother greatly I believe, and I loved her even more after I was grown and had children of my own.  She was always their "Grandma" too.  I never heard her raise her voice to any of the kids or to me.  She was always so nice to me.  I wanted her to be my Mother so very badly.  She asked my Dad to please take me from his parents and let her raise me as her own, but Daddy said by the time they had married, my paternal grandparents were "too attached" to me.  

Mildred became a young widow at the young age of 41, with three boys at home to raise, when my father passed away in 1967 after a long battle of Lou Gehrig's disease.  She had never worked outside of the home and it was a very difficult couple of years for her, but she found work in Fort Smith as a motel maid.  She worked very hard to keep the house and food on the table for the two younger boys, Gary and Ricky.  My oldest brother, Eddie, had been working for some time to provide for his brothers and mom during dad's illness.  Eddie married Sharon Felkins in June 1967 shortly before Daddy died in July 1967.  Kathy was married with a small child by that time and lived in Great Bend, Kansas.  I was married and living in Tulsa, but had no children when Daddy died.



Mom, Dad & Gary at 2



Mildred did remarry some years later after she met and dated Norman Kelly around 1972.  She became Mildred McKinney Riddle Kelly, but had dropped the Riddle name by then and went byKelly.  My children remember her as "Grandma Kelly".  Honestly, I don't remember much about Norman except that he was very nice but suffered from migraine headaches.  He had been divorced--not widowed.  I remember Mom telling the kids that Norman was okay but "he's not your Dad!"  Well, that's a very true statement--no one could ever take the place of my Daddy in her heart or ours.  Mildred and Norman didn't stay married too long and they divorced.  Norman passed away a few years after Mildred did--he had remarried by that time.



Mom, Dad & Kids
A nephew is also in Mom's lap
along with Ricky.



Mom & Baby Gary 1951

I believe that my brothers and sister know that I loved "Mom" very much and so did our Daddy's brothers and sisters. They thought the world of her because Daddy loved her so much!    She would have been a wonderful mother to me, in spite of what families thought of stepmothers in those days--they weren't all like Cinderella's stepmother--some were very nice, and she was at the top of the list! 

Love, Mom & Nana

Church Camp and a First Kiss

When I around 13 or 14 I started going to a one-week church-sponsored camp at Kiamichi Baptist Assemly in the beautiful hills surrounding Talihina, Oklahoma.  The camp is located off Highway 271 south about 20 miles to Christ 40 Acres (a church camp).  There were thousands of kids from hundreds of churches scheduled for practically every week during the summer.  It was a wonderful week of swimming, eating cold popsicles, attending early morning and evening church every day, Bible classes, and arts and crafts.  There were bunk beds in rustic cabins and no running water, but we did have electricity.  Showers and restrooms were down the hill from the cabins.  Each cabin had at least two adult sponsors who keep tight reins on their assigned girls or boys. 

Rita's mother (Rita Wanell was my church BFF) was our cabin sponser for several years, and I always rode in their car to the camp since we didn't have a church bus in those days.  We would meet at the church very early on Monday morning, with duffel bags packed full of needful things for the week, including towels, blankets, pillows, flashlights, play clothes and church clothes, and of course our Bible. 

We were required to wear dresses or skirts for both the evening and morning church services--no jeans or shorts, and the boys wore slacks with dress shirts.  It was 1957.  I am wearing my cute black and white stripped pedal pushers that Grandma made when Rita took this picture of me--me and my "Olive Oyl" figure in those days!  After church services and morning Bible class, we ran back to the cabins and changed for lunch.  Each church had their own cooks in a separate bunkhouse and all of the kids and sponsors from our church ate there.  Then we had afternoons to play ball, walk around, swim, and eat popsicles. 

We had specific swimming schedules and there was absolutely no coed swimming allowed.  In fact, you were required to wear a robe over your swimsuit when walking to and from the swimming hole.  This is how it was in 1957 kids.  I mentioned there was electricity in the cabins but we didn't have portable hair dryers back then so if you swam, you wore a swimming cap (ugh!), and when you took a shower, you wore a shower cap! 

It was always dark by the time evening service was over so that is why you needed a flashlight--also good for writing in your diary after lights out if you could get away with staying up past ten.  Rita and I always walked together and on one particular night two boys started following us and began talking to us so we let them walk along.  I was 15 and "never been kissed" nor had she, since she was a couple of years younger than me.  The boys started holding our hands and then the one I was walking with with pulled me aside and I remember kissing that boy which seemed like a very long time.  Well, we got scared after the boys told us there were not attending camp and weren't associated with any of the churches--they were local boys "just visiting".  We ran off and Rita told her mother, who was our cabin sponsor,  about the boys.  She didn't get upset too much but said we should walk with her to our cabin the next night to make sure the boys didn't bother us again, and if we saw them at the evening service next night to point them out, but (unfortunately) we never saw them again!  The boys were probably on the prowl and kissing other girls the next night!

Anyway, during the next two summers Rita and I met two very nice boys from Sallisaw, Paul and Johnny, who actually did go to church camp the same time we did.  We double-dated a couple of times after camp ended that summer and I continued to date Paul for a time, even though he lived in Sallisaw, which was 11 miles west of Muldrow.  He was a great basketball player and I would ride the school bus to Sallisaw when our teams played so I could see him play.  His schoolmates called him "Streak" but he had one problem--he stuttered when he was nervous.  I guess I made him nervous because he always stuttered around me!  It was never easy to date boys from a neighboring town in those days especially if you weren't allowed to stay out past ten, and the boys I dated were in sports and had ball practice all the time.  I'll have to tell you about Mickey, a football player from Sallisaw, but that's another story!
Love, Mom & Nana

Just The Way You Are

 When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change

Cause you're amazing, just the way you are.

And when you smile, the whole world stops awhile

Because you're amazing just the way you are.

These are lyrics from Bruno Mars' Song, Just the Way You Are, because it reminds me of my sister, Kathryn Bernice Riddle Lamb (Kathy).  You see, Kathy is battling cancer and no matter what this devastating disease has done to her, she is truly amazing just the way she is, and is truly the same beautiful girl who has raised and loved all kinds of animals, especially horses.  The picture to the left is with son, Randal Lamb, and one of her horses they once had on their farm in Kansas.  Randal is grown up now and  married with five children.



Eddie in dress with doll!

Kathy, was born on November 7, 1945, to Elmo John Riddle and Mildred Bernice McKinney Riddle, and although we do not share the same mother and are half-sisters, she is my only sister.   Kathy always wanted a big sister and a little sister because after her came three boys--Eddie, Gary and Ricky.  A little girl, Brenda Gail, was born on January 19, 1960, when they lived in Great Bend, Kansas, but the baby died at birth.  Unfortunately, Kathy didn't have me around as her big sister, since I lived with my paternal grandparents in Oklahoma.  Kathy longed for a little sister, so she would put dresses and wigs on our two brothers, Eddie and Gary, and Mom took pictures of them.  Ricky was born in 1955, so he probably escaped some of the fun, but knowing her, she probably dressed him in cute dresses when he was an infant!. 


Eddie in dress & wig.



I think that it must be a "big sister" tradition of dressing your little brother as a girl, because our own daughter, Tiffany, used to dress little brother, Mark, in a pink slip and roll his hair in pink sponge rollers.  I am not sure that Eddie and Gary enjoyed wearing those dresses too much, but Eddie recently told me they didn't have a choice in the matter!  Eddie doesn't appear to be too thrilled about it in this picture!




Gary in dress.

Kathy grew up to be a beautiful girl and married Ronnie Lamb on February 10, 1963.  Their son, Randal, was born on February 22, 1964. They have two beautiful granddaughters, Tatiana and Trinity, and three handsome grandsons, Tayor, Tristan & Turner--Randy and Julie's children.  They live in Kansas too.

I love you, Sis, and you will beat this cancer with God's help! I know you are struggling every day and I pray for God to wrap his arms around you to give you back your strength and help you get through this, because you are amazing!
With Love from your Big Sis

Mary, Joseph and James, A Christmas Story

Each year the First Baptist Church I attended as a child and continued through my senior year had a Christmas play and always put a huge Christmas tree in the auditorium.  Everyone's name was put into a hat and each person drew a name and brought one gift to place under the tree to open on Christmas Eve after the pageant.  No grownup or child went home empty-handed because the Ladies Auxiliary bought extra plastic net stockings and filled each one with nuts and candy for visitors and guests of families.  All of the kids got to take a candy-filled stocking home plus their gift.  My church BFF, Rita, and I always brought an extra gift for each other.

Traditionally, someone would read the story of Jesus' birth from one of the Four Gospels in the Bible.  I remember loving Saint Luke's passages best and would read it to my Grandmother every Christmas.  She loved to hear me read the scriptures after I learned to read.  Don't be mislead, Grandma could read and she taught a women's Bible class for many years. She read her Bible every day, but she really enjoyed reading my teen magazines I bought from Miss Emma's Variety Store. 

One year I played the role of Mary in the Christmas play and James Roland, who was a couple years older than me, played Joseph.  James was hands-down the smartest kid in school, always top honors in his classes and scholarships awarded upon graduation.  He was an only child and regularly attended church with his parents.  His father was also a Church Deacon like my Grandpa Riddle.  I always thought James was such a "square" in those days--you guys would call him a "nerd" or "dweeb" I suppose nowadays. I was embarrassed  because he "liked" me when we were in our preteens, but later in high school, we dated several times.  He was a nice Christian boy whom my Grandparents approved of, and his dad had a nice car.  Turned out he was all right to go out with even if he was kind of square and... he was a good kisser, although I didn't many boys to compare him with at that time.
As the Christmas narration continued, the Angels came and frightened the Shepherds, the Star of Bethlehem appeared to the Wise Men, then Mary and Joseph make their entrance onto the stage to the manger scene.  Baby Jesus, someone's doll--not mine (I think I had already buried mine) played the role of Baby Jesus "wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger" (I pretty much know the story by heart).

James was dressed in his dad's bathrobe with a towel draped around his head as Joseph, and me in choir robe tied at waist with a cloth of some kind for Mary's head covering, took our places on the stage in front of the manger.  No spoken lines for us, just sitting and looking with admiration at the Baby Jesus in the manger.....for a very long time!  

I remember being mesmerized by the semi-darkness and soft glowing lights around Baby Jesus, and I either nodded off or completely forgot our cue to "exit stage left."  So I continued sitting and staring at the Baby Jesus, when suddenly James began shaking my chair, easily at first and then he shook it so hard I almost fell out of the chair on onto the manger.  I turned around and gave him a look that could kill, but he indiscreetly nodded his head towards the end of the stage and mouthed the words, "time to go". 

That was my first acting debut and probably the last, but it was fun and a great memory when I played Mary and James Roland played the role of Joseph.  I would love to know if James remembers that, and if I ever see him again, I'll be sure to ask.

Love, Mom & Nana
Posted on April 8 at 6:50 p.m.